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Questions and Tasks
Examine this illustration.
The well-known, semi-cultish parable of the tire swing depicted in this image demonstrates the value of clear, concise, concrete communication.
As Irish playwright and critic George Bernard Shaw said, "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."
As a business writer, you want to create pathways of understanding that enable your audience to effortlessly understand and execute ideas. Mastering this skill in writing will make you invaluable in any workplace.
This chapter discusses how to draft logical paragraphs, apply stylistic rules that achieve clarity, and strike the proper tone to reach your audience.
Logical paragraphs—whether in an email, report, or presentation—should be unified, coherent, organized, developed, and short (no more than three to five sentences).
A unified paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that articulates the paragraph’s main idea or purpose. Paragraphs require strong topic sentences because readers only skim documents. As William Zinser, an American writer and literary critic, has said,
"The most important sentence in any paragraph is the first one. If it does not induce the reader to proceed to the second sentence, your paragraph is dead."
Supporting sentences offer additional details, examples, evidence, or explanations that reinforce and expand on the topic sentence.
The transition sentence wraps up one paragraph and transitions to the next—like an exit ramp to a new road.
Paragraph coherence refers to the logical flow and smooth connections between sentences within the paragraph.
Coherent paragraphs use transition words or phrases like however, in addition, or in contrast to connect and organize ideas in logical relationships.
By ensuring that the ideas within the paragraph are logically connected, coherent paragraphs provide a seamless reading experience.
Organized paragraphs focus on the overall structure and arrangement of ideas within the paragraph.
Organized paragraphs use the most logical sequence of the information. For example, chronology, sequence, hierarchy, cause and effect, or problem-solution.
Development focuses on expanding and supporting the main idea with specific details, examples, evidence, and explanations.
By doing more showing than telling, well-developed paragraphs provide relevant and compelling information that enhances the impact and understanding of the main idea. It adds depth and substance to the paragraph, making the overall writing more informative, persuasive, or compelling.
To develop paragraphs, you should provide illustrations, cite credible secondary sources, offer personal anecdotes, include expert opinions, or include testimonials.
RealmQuest: Rise of Legends offers an unparalleled gaming experience that immerses players in a vivid and captivating virtual world. With stunning graphics, intricate storytelling, and an array of engaging quests, the game seamlessly transports players to fantastical realms where they can embark on epic adventures and overcome formidable challenges. The attention to detail in the game design and the immersive sound effects further enhance the gameplay experience, allowing players to truly feel like they are part of the richly crafted universe. Whether it's exploring ancient ruins, battling mythical creatures, or unraveling hidden mysteries, RealmQuest: Rise of Legends provides an interactive and deeply engaging experience that keeps players immersed for hours on end. The combination of compelling gameplay mechanics and immersive visuals with a captivating narrative makes RealmQuest: Rise of Legends a standout gaming experience that captivates players from start to finish.
RealmQuest: Rise of Legends offers an unparalleled gaming experience that immerses players in a vivid and captivating virtual world.
This sentence introduces the main idea of the paragraph, setting the stage for the subsequent sentences that support and expand upon this idea.
With stunning graphics, intricate storytelling, and an array of engaging quests, the game seamlessly transports players to fantastical realms where they can embark on epic adventures and overcome formidable challenges.
This sentence provides specific details about the game's features, explaining how it creates an immersive experience through its stunning graphics, intricate storytelling, and engaging quests. The sentence flows logically from the introduction, elaborating on how these elements contribute to the immersive experience.
The attention to detail in the game design and the immersive sound effects further enhance the gameplay experience, allowing players to truly feel like they are part of the richly crafted universe.
This sentence continues the discussion of immersive elements by highlighting the attention to detail in the game design and the immersive sound effects. It logically connects to the previous sentence, explaining how these aspects contribute to the overall experience of feeling like a part of the virtual world.
Whether it's exploring ancient ruins, battling mythical creatures, or unraveling hidden mysteries, RealmQuest: Rise of Legends provides an interactive and deeply engaging experience that keeps players immersed for hours on end.
This sentence provides examples of the activities players can engage in within the game, showcasing the diverse and captivating gameplay experiences available. It logically follows the previous sentences, illustrating how these interactive elements contribute to the overall immersion and engagement of players.
The combination of compelling gameplay mechanics and immersive visuals with a captivating narrative makes RealmQuest: Rise of Legends a standout gaming experience that captivates players from start to finish.
This concluding sentence summarizes the paragraph, reiterating the coherence by highlighting the combination of gameplay mechanics, visuals, and narratives that make RealmQuest: Rise of Legends a standout and captivating gaming experience. It logically ties together the main points discussed throughout the paragraph, providing a cohesive ending to the ideas presented.
Don’t make paragraphs so long that they appear uninviting to read.
Business paragraphs should not be so long that the reader gives up. You are not writing a novel or a doctoral thesis, so keep your email, report, and other document paragraphs short.
RealmQuest: Rise of Legends provides an immersive gaming experience through stunning graphics, intricate storytelling, and engaging quests. With attention to detail in game design and immersive sound effects, players feel fully immersed in the richly crafted universe. Whether exploring ruins, battling creatures, or unraveling mysteries, the game offers an interactive and captivating experience. The combination of compelling gameplay mechanics, immersive visuals, and a captivating narrative makes RealmQuest: Rise of Legends a standout gaming experience that captivates players from start to finish.
Clear, concise, concrete communication saves time, effort, and stress for you and your audiences and increases the odds of achieving anticipated outcomes.
Clear communication is simple, transparent, easy to understand, and free from ambiguity. A clear message statement conveys its intended meaning, leaving little room for confusion or misinterpretation.
Concise communication respects the audience’s time and attention by conveying clear messages in the fewest words possible without sacrificing the intended meaning. In concise communication, every word directly contributes to the main idea.
Concrete communication uses specific, tangible language that makes the message more vivid and relatable.
Clarity in writing means making your ideas clear and easy to understand so that readers know exactly what you're trying to say.
Clear communicators eliminate ambiguity by preferring active voice; choosing simple, specific, strong words; avoiding expletive subjects; unburying verbs; reducing jargon, cliché, slang, and idiomatic expressions; eliminating vague intensifiers; and using simple language.
Audience-oriented writing is direct and to the point, so prefer active voice, which means you identify who or what is doing the action:
In passive voice, the subject is either missing or included as an afterthought at the end of the sentence. The object becomes the subject of the sentence, and the verb becomes a form of to be + a past participle of the original verb.
Clear, specific writing ensures that the intended message is easily understood, minimizing the risk of misinterpretation and engaging a broader audience. Skilled communicators adapt their style to balance complexity with simplicity, catering to the needs and understanding of their audiences. If you need the audience to do something, speak their language.
Words like several, recently, many, few, a lot, or substantial are vague. Seek more specific substitutes by asking, How many is many? How many is several? How much is a lot? Nonspecific language lacks not only specificity but also emotional impact, context, and imagery, rendering your message forgettable.
You can be using active voice but still be using weak verbs, which are generic. Instead, choose strong verbs that are more specific and concrete.
The table below provides a few examples of weak verbs and stronger possible substitutes.
Before it meant bad words, the word expletives meant empty words. Not swear words, expletive subjects introduce a sentence without adding meaningful content.
From the Latin expletivus, meaning serving to fill out, expletive subjects can be removed without affecting the meaning of the sentence. Remove your expletive subjects to make your sentences clearer and more concise.
The table below provides a few examples of how to easily remove expletive subjects from your writing.
Nominalizations occur when a verb or adjective is turned into a noun. The process usually involves adding a suffix or changing the word’s form to create a noun.
Ironically, the word nominalization is itself a nominalized word. Avoiding excessive nominalizations gives your sentences a better chance of being clear and more concrete.
The table below provides examples of common nominalizations in business writing.
Nominalizations aren’t always bad, but they can make your writing less concise.
Technical and industry-specific, jargon is unclear to a general audience. Clichés are overused expressions or unoriginal phrases. Slang is informal colloquial language. An idiom is an expression whose meaning is different from its literal translation.
Overuse of jargon, clichés, slang, or unfamiliar idiomatic expressions can hinder clarity and create confusion for the audience, particularly those who are not familiar with the specific terms or expressions.
The table below provides examples of jargon, cliché, slang, and idiomatic expressions.
While some business contexts permit certain jargon or specific idiomatic expressions known to the audience, you should exercise caution to strike the right balance. Use language judiciously and contextually to enhance your messages, maintain professionalism, and meet your audience’s needs.
Vague intensifiers are adverbs that lack specificity, so they do not precisely convey the intended intensity or degree. In your business writing, seek for more precise words that paint a clearer picture about degree and intensity.
The table below provides a few examples of vague intensifiers and more specific substitutes. Notice that the substitutes are longer but that they never compromise clarity for concision.
While instances where complex terminology is necessary to convey specific technical or specialized information will arise, prioritize simplicity and clarity in language.
Don’t buy into the myth that long, complicated, intellectual words make you sound smarter. They don’t. If anything, they make you sound pretentious. The table below provides a few examples of needlessly long words and their simplified versions.
If someone asks you what time it is, do not tell them how the clock works. Respect your audience’s time and attention by eliminating unnecessary words and phrases and using direct structure. Concise communication enables your audience to quickly grasp key points and make informed decisions. In fast-paced business environments, concision ensures efficient information delivery, enhancing the communication's overall impact and professionalism.
In addition to eliminating extraneous details and editing vigorously, eliminate redundancies, unnecessary phrases, and unnecessary clauses.
Redundancies are unnecessary words or phrases that repeat information already conveyed, reducing concision. The table below provides a few examples of redundancies. Notice that one of the words usually repeats the other word’s meaning.
Prepositional phrases are groups of words that begin with a preposition and typically end with a noun or pronoun called the object of the preposition.
Prepositions are words that show the relationship between a noun or pronoun and other elements in a sentence. Prepositional phrases provide additional information about the location, time, manner, or other attributes related to the main part of the sentence. Because they add descriptive details and context to a sentence, prepositional phrases are a fundamental part of sentence structure.
This section does not prescribe eliminating ALL prepositional phrases, only the wordy ones that can be replaced by shorter adjectives and adverbs.
Phrasal verbs are colloquial expressions that end with a preposition. They usually have a less wordy, less colloquial substitute.
Relative adjective clauses can be long and risk becoming misplaced modifiers, as Chapter 11 of this text teaches.
Your communication will be more concise if you eliminate some relative clauses, making them shorter adjectives that appear before the noun.
The table below shows a few examples of wordy prepositional phrases, phrasal verbs, and relative clauses, next to their improved versions.
You might be thinking, "The last section just taught me to be brief! How can I be brief and concrete?"
While concision avoids wordiness and keeps the audience’s attention, sacrificing concreteness for the sake of brevity can lead to ambiguity and misunderstanding.
Concrete communication emphasizes specific and vivid language that makes the content more tangible, descriptive, and relatable to the reader. Concrete writing provides specific details, examples, and sensory imagery that make messages memorable and engaging.
The table below provides a few examples that illustrate concrete communication principles.
In business writing, tone refers to the communication’s attitude or emotion. Tone sets the overall mood of the message and influences how the reader perceives the information. Align tone with the intended purpose and audience, maintaining a professional, polite, confident demeanor.
Establish a level of confidence that demonstrates credibility but not arrogance. Using hedging language makes a communicator appear less confident.
Use polite language and courteous expressions to maintain a positive and respectful tone. Demonstrate empathy and understanding toward the audience's perspective and concerns.
Business writing often requires a formal tone, reflecting professionalism and respect for the audience. You don’t have to use a formal tone in all your communication, but you should know your audience well enough to know the difference. What you think is humorous or cheeky might be offensive to your audience.
Adopt a nondiscriminatory inclusive tone by avoiding language or expressions that could potentially discriminate against or offend the audience based on race, ethnicity, gender, age, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, or other protected characteristics. Promote inclusive, respectful environments that help your audience feel valued.
The table below explains poor and improved business communication tone examples.
In summary, competent business communicators maintain an audience-focused tone that enhances communication and fosters a respectful and productive business relationship. On the other hand, poor tone can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and negative perceptions of the communicator and the organization they represent.
The principles, examples, and tips in this chapter provide a blueprint for you to follow as you draft consequential business emails, documents, and presentations.
Demonstrate respect for your audience: write unified, coherent, well-developed, short paragraphs. Apply the rules of style and tone to enhance your credibility and improve the overall communication experience for your audience.
Garner, Bryan A. “Write E-mails That People Won't Ignore.” Harvard Business Review, February 21, 2013. Accessed August 2021.
Canavor, Natalie. Business Writing in the Digital Age. Los Angeles: SAGE Publications, 2012.
Garner, Bryan A. HBR Guide to Better Business Writing.Boston: Harvard Business School Publishing, 2012.
Strunk, William I. The Elements of Style. 4th ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson, 1999.
Zinsser, William. On Writing Well. 30th ed. New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2006.
Purdue Online Writing Lab. “ Prepositions for Time, Place, and Introducing Objects.” Accessed August 2023.
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