Revise

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Michelangelo didn’t just create beauty—he revealed it. He once said, “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” That’s what revision does for your writing.

Your first draft is the block of marble—rough, bulky, full of potential but not quite there. Like Michelangelo, you need to see what’s essential, then chip away the extra words, smooth the transitions, and shape the tone until the message shines through with clarity and purpose.In business communication, the masterpiece is a message that lands cleanly with your audience. Your chisel? Revision.

Principle	What to Look For	Fix Strategy
Clarity	Sentences that confuse or wander	Break long ideas into short sentences
Concision	Redundant phrases, extra words	Eliminate clutter and repetition
Concreteness	Vague or abstract terms	Replace with specific, vivid language

Revising is the difference between leaving your ideas buried in stone or shaping them into something sharp, clear, and persuasive.

2. Evaluate and Adjust Tone

Even well-organized messages can fail if the tone is wrong. A revision pass is the time to check whether your voice sounds appropriate, respectful, and professional. Your audience determines your tone, so do the work to understand them.

Original:“You clearly didn’t read the manual.”
Revised:“Let’s review the manual together to find the issue.”

3. Use Peer Feedback to Improve the Message

You can’t revise well in isolation. A second set of eyes can catch what you miss—especially tone, assumptions, or unclear language.

Ask a Peer to Help You Spot:

• Sentences that feel confusing or too long
• Words that feel defensive, arrogant, or insincere
• Areas that need more clarity or specificity

Ask your reviewer to narrate their reactions as they read your work out loud, indicating what they liked, where they got confused, or where additional information would be useful. Take notes and make changes where needed.