Use these questions to evaluate the example essay
Read the student introduction paragraph and evaluate how effective it is (see page 8 to review qualities of an effective introduction). Suggest revisions to the author.
The first and second world wars have been two of the most cited and studied by historians and experts in literature during the last ten years. Both events represented two of the largest armed movements in human history leaving in their wake modifications and countless material and human losses. (Royde, 2007). It is interesting to study the causes, the development and the way in which these wars concluded, bringing with them a number of changes that continue to affect the current rhythm of life of people in the world today. At the same time, another important aspect is the comparison between World War I and World War II. Even when most people know about these events, few people know the true differences between them. There is a great list of comparisons between war and war but lately, we can conclude that there are three main aspects to compare between these famous wars. First, we can compare the causes, this means the real reasons and ambitions that different leaders in the world had and which in turn originated each one of these bellicose movements. (Tongue, 2016; Hammer, 2005). Second, because both wars took place at different times, it is possible to compare the strategies and innovations that each war had, as well as the advantages that favored the victory for some nations and the disadvantages that determined the failure of others. (Royde, 2007; Tongue, 2016). Finally, the causes, advantages, and disadvantages influenced the final results of each war, an aspect that is very comparable and cited in our days in books and historical articles. (Tongue, 2016; Sanchez, 2014). This is how we can see the differences between WWI and WWII.
This content is provided to you freely by BYU Open Learning Network.
Access it online or download it at https://open.byu.edu/up_writing_summer/revisingV.