Writing has unity when the supporting sentences all work together to support the topic sentences. Paragraphs that lack unity are confusing to the reader because some ideas do not seem to belong.
Unity issues also cause a lack of clarity because you assume the reader is following your ideas, but you have jumped over important information or moved on before completing an idea.
Exercise 1: Teacher Feedback
Read the paragraph with the feedback from the teacher. Explain to a partner how you would respond to the feedback to improve the unity in the paragraph.
There are legitimate differences in what they (How do I know what "they" means in this sentence without context?) measure and in what tests they (Is this the same subject as the previous "they" or is it a new one?) used to do it. First, making plans, reaching solutions, using logic are associated with intelligence (The rest of this paragraph talks about cognitive and emotional, which one is this sentence about?) (Cherry, n.d.). In order to measure the cognitive intelligence an IQ test is used, which assess how well a person makes plans, understands the complexity and nature of a problem. Also, researchers have said that IQ tests appraise the capability of a person to discern their setting and make adequate actions (Arnold, n.d., p.1). On the other hand, MSCEIT test measures (Is the purpose of this paragraph just to compare the tests? Or they types of intelligence?) the four-part of EI (What is EI?) which are Perceiving, understanding, managing emotions and facilitating thoughts. (There is significantly less information in this paragraph about emotional intelligence than cognitive. It is not balanced to match the thesis statement.) As we can notice, whereas cognitive bits of intelligence is more associated to individual’s capability to solve problems with their knowledge that they have acquired, emotional intelligence is more related to the ability to control emotions. Since they are different concepts, experts in the field have created a specific test for each one of them.
Exercise 2: Revise for unity
Read the paragraphs. Cross out sentences that are not connected to the topic sentence. Add sentences as needed to improve the unity of ideas by completing an incomplete thought.
- Political administrations differ from one another depending on the county and depending on the culture which the president operate in. In USA (United states), Work in a country where democratic values or attributes were praised. Barack Obama was elected by and served mainly one side of the country whereas this is different from Nelson Mandela’s administration. His goal or his desire was to serve every single people in the country even you were one of his enemies.
America's culture differ from South Africa's culture because they value strength in one side and standing up to your adversaries. This sort of value somewhere create a division that hide behind the political American culture. In Africa’s culture people value harmony and unity between each members of the same family that is South Africa. Historically, people of South Africa was in need to find a leader that could bring them together in order to abolish the Apartheid that was one of the vital concerns to the eventual peace between every single group and ethnicity in the population. Obama’s administration was making laws in favor of one side or Nelson Mandela was making laws to bring together.
At least, some of the holidays that are pretty similar in both culture and more countries. Some of them are Christmas, San Valentine’s day, New Year. Christmas are celebrate on December 25th. Families gather to share an amazing dinner on December 24th night. People, mostly children go to bed early and they wake up early the next day to share, receive, and give Christmas presents. Also, people decorate their houses with Christmas lights and Christmas tree. Another one, is San Valentine's day, about this holiday is performed in february 14th, the custom is that couples spend this day together that they can have a date and could be creatives. Often, they have a dinner, romantic movies, flowers, serenades, and more. Last, New Year, families gather time together waiting for the midnight to hug each one to others and giving some good wishes for the year that is starting. A famous event in the United States is in Times Square, NewYork City, hundreds of people come to this place to say bye at the old year, in some Latin countries new year is more important than Christmas, and people have some traditions like eating twelve grapes and asking wishes for each one, puting rice and money into their pockets to have abundance, using underwear of different colors to find the love, having peace, and other ones.
Exercise 3: Identify a good introduction
Choose the best introduction paragraph. Use the underlined thesis statement to identify if the ideas used earlier in the introduction are focused on the same topic or are disconnected.
- What makes a child different from an adult? People will be able to answer that question in many ways because there are many obvious differences. Children and adults have different life experiences and different perspectives. They have different goals and different needs. Their brains are even different. When their lives are examined, the differences are easy to find. They also learn languages differently. Learning a language as a child and learning a language as an adult are very distinct processes.
- Not all language learners are the same. Some people are motivated to learn a language by interest; others are motivated by necessity. Some people learn a new language in the country where it’s spoken natively and others learn a new language in their native country. One of the most interesting comparisons in language learning is between people who learn a language as a child and those who learn it as an adult. There are certain to be differences in motivation, needs, and resources due to their age alone. Learning a language as a child and learning a language as an adult are very distinct processes.
- Learning a language can be difficult. In order to learn a language, people have to learn new vocabulary, new grammar, and new strategies for learning. This is especially true for children and adults. There are a lot of new words and grammar rules that are essential for mastering any language. Adults and children learn these things differently because adults are faster in many things they do. Children tend to take more time, but they reach excellent ultimate attainment. Learning a language as a child and learning a language as an adult are very distinct processes.
Exercise 4: Write a body paragraph
Use the topic sentence to write a unified body paragraph. Use at least one of the quotes to support your paragraph. You do not need to use the entire quote.
- TS: While traditional learning has a common schedule for all students, online learning can be adapted to fit an individual student’s schedule.
- Quote: "In a traditional classroom, students can directly share their views and clarify their own queries with the teacher, thus getting their questions answered right away." (De, 2018, para. 4-5)
- Quote: "However many employees may be exhausted after their work and don’t want to attend regular classes. So, naturally, an online class is more convenient for them, as it saves valuable time, money, and energy. The best thing about online learning is that individuals can take a course from the comfort of their office or home. Even with a busy schedule, one can find some spare time to take a course or study for it." (De, 2018, para. 12)
CC BY: This work is released under a CC BY license, which means that you are free to do with it as you please as long as you properly attribute it.