Example Essay

1. Exercise: Analyze an essay

   1. Yes
   2. Yes (While shopping online or shopping in a store are very distinct shopping experiences for consumers, they both stimulate the economy.)
   3. Yes (One thing that makes the experience different when you shop online or in a store is the range of options that are available. Another thing that makes the experience different when you shop online or in a store is the way you evaluate the merchandise. What these two shopping experiences share is their ability to stimulate the economy. As both stores stimulate our economic system, we can appreciate their distinct features.)
   4. Yes
   5. Yes
   6. Yes
   7. Yes (conclusion needs more development)
   8. Yes
   9. Yes (The way people shopped has clearly changed since the creation of the Internet, and the way people shop in the future will probably continue to change as new tools and technology are invented.)
   10. Prediction

Prewriting

1. Exercise: Revise thesis statements

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

2. Exercise: Complete an outline (Answers will vary, examples provided)

   1. Both Frank Gehry and Franklin Wright are well-known architects, but their styles, techniques, and use of color and texture are dramatically different.
   2. The different approaches of Gehry and Wright to architecture distinguish their work.

3. Exercise: Evaluate an outline (Answers will vary, examples provided)

   1. It is unclear what is being compared.
   2. Each thesis/topic sentence needs to clearly show what two things are being compared and what aspect of them will be discussed in the paragraph.

4. Exercise: Complete an outline

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

Writing

1. Exercise: Identify a good introduction

   1. Best introduction: 2

Revising

1. Exercise: Revise a body paragraph

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

2. Exercise: Check your essay

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

Revise: Example Essay

1. Exercise: Give feedback

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

Cause-Effect Essays

Example Essay

1. Exercise: Analyze an essay

   1. Yes
   2. Yes (Some of the most obvious physical health effects of obesity include high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and bone diseases.)
   3. Yes (Obesity may lead to high blood pressure. Type 2 diabetes is another health concern that may be caused by obesity. Finally, obesity can contribute to a variety of bone and joint diseases.)
   4. Yes
   5. Yes
   6. Yes
   7. Yes
   8. Yes
   9. Yes
   10. Yes (In conclusion, obesity brings with it an increased risk for a variety of health problems.)
   11. Suggestion

Prewriting

1. Exercise: Revise thesis statements (Answers will vary, examples provided)

   1. Overfishing has three negative effects on our world.
   2. Many people experience homelessness as a direct effect of unemployment.
   3. There are many surprising benefits and impacts of practicing yoga.
   4. One significant issue in the world is the presence of unstable economies, which can have may implications for both individuals and countries.
   5. The addictive nature of alcohol can have significant impacts on your life.
   6. Free trade laws have many benefits for countries.

2. Exercise: Complete an outline

   1. Some of the causes of depression include: genetics, brain chemistry, and individual circumstances.

3. Exercise: Choose sources that support a topic sentence

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

Writing

1. Exercise: Brainstorm background knowledge for an introduction (Answers will vary, examples provided)

   1. How do you define a "successful" investment? What type of investment will the essay discuss? How do you invest in people vs resources? 
   2. What is a stereotype? Are stereotypes always negative? Do stereotypes only impact racial discrimination?
   3. What is the author's definition of a "poor" diet? What is the author's definition of "excessive" stress? Are these the main sources of attention problems?

2. Exercise: Write a conclusion

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

Revising

1. Exercise: Give feedback (Answers will vary, examples provided)

   1. The first sentence is unclear: Effects of what? Grammar sometimes obscures meaning. The summary needs to be introduced and responded to. The paragraph needs stronger transitions. 

2. Exercise: Check your essay

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

Revise: Example Essay

1. Exercise: Give feedback

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

Refining Writing

Development

1. Exercise: Ask questions to generate supporting sentences

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

2. Exercise: Ask questions to generate supporting sentences

   1. Answers will vary, no examples provided

Unity

1. Exercise: Revise for unity

   1. The aftermath of an earthquake is more dangerous than the earthquake itself. When an earthquake occurs, the shaking causes problems with existing buildings and construction (United States Geologic Survey, n.d.). For example, gas lines may break because the ground around them shifts, and broken gas lines are extremely dangerous to people. Gas lines smell terrible when they are broken. Other dangers after an earthquake include landslides and tsunamis. The sudden energy of the earthquake sends either land or water moving, and anything in the path can be destroyed (USGS, n.d.). Earthquakes can have more energy than hurricanes. Tidal waves from tsunamis can swallow entire countries in the Pacific. When compared to the dangers directly associated with the earthquake, we can see that the aftermath is also important to be prepared for. 

   2. One cause of pollution is huge factories. In the factories we produce thousands and thousands of different things for humanity. The biggest factories are in the food, petroleum, forest, auto, and pharmacy industries. Factories burn coal, petroleum, and wood. Having many factories would not be a problem if they used different energy. The problem is that no matter what kind of combustible material we are talking about, all of them pollute our air. They also are difficult forms of energy to replace so we will have less fuel in the future. Pollution has been a part of earth even millions of years ago but not the amount of contamination that we now observe. The Earth’s ozone layer has started to thin because of the monumental measure of harmful substances in the air. The factories emit into the air harmful chemicals, and every single one of these substances is poisoning the air. Huge factories are in some ways useful for humans but also harmful to the environment and pollute the air.

Cohesion

1. Exercise: Exercise: Identify logical order of sentences

   1. 4
   2. 1
   3. 5
   4. 3
   5. 2

2. Exercise: Insert a sentence

   1. Everyone experiences stress. 

      2 Even though all people have different lives and circumstances, stress is universal because it has so many different causes. Some of these causes include health, relationships, life changes, and conflicts between your beliefs and your values (“Causes of Stress,” 2018).  Regardless of the cause, everyone should understand stress because they will have to know how to handle it. 

3. Exercise: Identify misplaced sentences

   1. The skin is one of the most important lines of protection that the human body has against infection. If a germ makes it past the skin, the body has several mechanisms in place to destroy it. For example, the body uses white blood cells to find and destroy germs that enter the body (“Components of the Immune System,” 2015). These mechanisms don’t always work quickly enough to prevent people from becoming sick, but they do begin fighting the bacteria or virus and help people recover. In order to become infected, either bacteria or viruses have to enter the body. The skin prevents this from happening most of the time, as we encounter thousands—if not millions—of germs every day. Thus, the skin is one of the best ways to protect the body from germs because it blocks the majority of them. 

4. Exercise: Revise for cohesion (Answers will vary, example provided)

   1. The languages spoken in Haiti and the Dominican Republic are one evidence of their distinct cultures. On one side of the island, they speak French, while on the other side they speak Spanish. The indigenous people of the island originally spoke Taino (Reichard, 2017), but France and Spain both established colonies on the island, bringing their languages with them. Due to these new influences, most of the native Taino language was conquered. There are a few words of Taino that remained in Spanish like huracán (tornado) and maíz (corn) (Reichard, 2017). Both sides of the island are certainly distinct because they now have different languages.

5. Exercise: Identify connectors

   1. Cause/effect connectors
   2. Showing addition connectors
   3. Showing contrast connectors

Nuts and Bolts

Punctuation

1. Exercise: Revising for listing punctuation

   1. Interesting buildings on BYU campus include: the Wilkinson Center, the Museum of Art, and the Fine Arts Center. (missing a verb before the semicolon)
   2. The expensive, red sportscar was parked illegally. (missing comma)
   3. No error

2. Exercise: Revise linking punctuation

   1. No error
   2. BYU has lots of fun activities for students; you will never be bored on the weekends. (semicolon) BYU has lots of fun activities for students, so you will never be bored on the weekends. (conjunction added)
   3. Amazon is one of the most popular websites for online shopping, and you can find a wide variety of products that ship quickly to your home. (comma) Amazon is one of the most popular websites for online shopping; you can find a wide variety of products that ship quickly to your home. (no conjunction)
   4. Electricity was one of the most important inventions in the nineteenth century, and it led to other important inventions. (comma)
   5. No error

3. Exercise: Revise run-on sentences

   1. Parents do not control what their children do. Children’s behavior is affected more by television, movies, and other influences from outside the home. This is a terrible thing that sociologists have noticed, but fortunately, parents are still interested in trying to teach their children. Parents should teach their children about good behaviors, and they will see improvements in the behavior of their children.

Using Academic Vocabulary

1. Exercise: Identify word forms

   1. development, develop, developmental/developing/developed
   2. support, supportive, supportively
   3. sustain, sustainable
   4. explanation, explain
   5. sequence, sequence, sequential
   6. partial, partially
   7. expectation, expected/expecting, expectedly

2. Exercise: Revise for word form errors

   1. The homework assignment looked easy, but I did not know how to COMPLETE it. I asked my study buddy to help me because he is so INTELLIGENT. Apparent, he is really good at learning languages, because he is learning three languages at BYU. I know one day he will be FAMOUS. I RESPECT him a lot.