Revising is an important step in writing. In fact, revising is most of what writers do. In this chapter, you will practice this skill with a focus on descriptive writing.


Exercise 1: Give feedback

Read the paragraph below. What advice would you give to the writer?

        In addition, melting ice caps can cause climate change. 99 percent of the polar ice consists of fresh water. Besides, most of the ice is floating on the sea. Hence, melting ice means two changes. These are the changes in salinity and temperature (Glick, n.d., para 13). Both salinity and temperature greatly affect the ocean currents. The Earth's currents are mostly steady, and The direction of the current usually remains unchanged. However, large changes in ocean currents might cause changes in the atmosphere (Jason Samenow, 2018, para 1). If the currents in the atmosphere were changed, huge natural disasters, such as long-term flooding, hurricanes, typhoons, and tsunamis, would occur frequently (, n.d., para 1). As a result, ice melt of the polar ice caps is very closely related to natural disasters caused by future climate changes.


Exercise 2: Check your essay

Use these questions to give the author advice about how to improve it. Think about the function of each type of paragraph as well as how sources are used to support the main idea of the essay.

  1. Does the introduction provide the general information a reader needs in order to understand the topic?
  2. Does the introduction end with an effective thesis? Does it match the style of the essay?
  3. Do each of the body paragraphs begin with an effective topic sentence?
  4. Are the body paragraphs sequenced in a logical order?
  5. Look at each body Do the supporting sentences support the topic sentence?
  6. Look at each body Are the supporting sentences sequenced in a logical order?
  7. Look at each body Is there enough development? Are there more details or examples that would help the reader?
  8. Look at each body Does the concluding sentence close the paragraph logically?
  9. Does the conclusion paragraph start by restating the thesis?
  10. Does the conclusion paragraph have a suggestion, prediction, or opinion at the end?

Revise: Cause-Effect Writing

This content is provided to you freely by BYU Open Learning Network.

Access it online or download it at